We have all heard it. “What if I fail?” What if I embarrass myself?” “I am not the right person for this job.” We go through life sometimes believing that we are incapable of excellence, and that success followed pure luck. The right place at the right time kind of thing. We go through life believing the “uncle voice” which years later keeps telling us that we would never amount to anything cause we are just not as good as ….. or not …. enough.
We wake up every day and are faced with messages from media and society which leave us feeling that we are not good enough. These messages tell us that we must be perfect, score a 10/10, lead perfect lives and make no mistakes in order to be deemed good enough. It has become difficult to “keep up” yet we attempt to be perfect all the time and hate everyone else who does not seem to be trying hard enough.
In “The Gifts of Imperfection – Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are” Brené Brown, a PhD researcher and leading expert on vulnerability, shame, worthiness and courage, shares what she calls the ten guideposts of Wholehearted living— a way of engaging with the world from a place of worthiness, self-compassion, empathy and authenticity.
“In her ten guideposts, Brené engages our thinking and feelings as she explores how we can cultivate the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, “No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough,” and to go to bed at night thinking, “Yes, I am sometimes afraid, but I am also brave. And, yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am worthy of love and belonging.”
It is a “perfect book” to teach you about being less than perfect and forgiving and loving yourself through it all. It is a book that has taught me that my failures do not define who I am, but they are a path to worthiness. Since reading this and other books by Brené, I have never stopped practising courage. It does not mean that the path has been easy, it just means that when I hit a roadblock, I can move on authentically, still believing that I am worthy. For I am.
During the next 10 weeks, starting Friday 19 August 2015, I will share with you the 10 guideposts, one at a time, and I invite you to travel this journey with me, as we together unashamedly explore these guideposts and continue to practice courage. I will also share a few thoughts about each guidepost.
Before we begin, I encourage you to read The Gifts of Imperfection, one of Brené’s four books. It’s a quick but thoughtful read. You might also want to check out her TedTalk videos here.
And please feel free to leave some comments, or send me an email at lele@mpower-ps.co.za for a private conversation. Please note that it might take a while to get back to you, as I get swamped with emails every day. But I will respond. Welcome to Wholehearted Living.